Untangling to Embrace: Being a Trans Woman

Today’s guest is long-time amateur cyclist Roxy B. Roxy has competed in gravel racing, mountain biking, and more. She’s also an Iraq War Veteran and Trans Woman. Roxy knew she was a woman since she was 11. In her youth, she felt wanting to have a woman’s body was normal for boys. As she got older, she realized her experience was different than that of her peers.

As a teen, Roxy wished she had the resources to change her life—to move away, get surgery, and live the life she truly wanted. She came out to her high school girlfriend and was rejected. Lacking professional prospects, Roxy decided to join the army. Eventually, she landed a secure job at the University of Vermont and met her wife. This stability gave her the confidence to meet her defining moment: fully transitioning.

The first thing Roxy did was approach her wife, and she expressed her desire to live as herself. Roxy stopped asking for permission to be herself, although it’s been difficult navigating her relationships with the most important people in her life. Still, she has found a new friend group, and this has allowed her to reach out and make new connections.

Roxy is still working through the emotions of her old life, but as they resurface she is coming to accept and work through them. One thing she’s done is been very open about the surgeries she’s had done. Roxy emphasizes you don’t need to have surgery to identify as trans or express your true self. Her only aim in sharing is to be open so she can be an example for those who need it.

Roxy has done a lot of untangling to embrace her authenticity, and she finally realizes how brave she really is. Roxy is now on her way to becoming everything she’s needed. As hard as it’s been, there’s no going back. Life isn’t perfect for Roxy but she’s happier than she’s ever been.